thoughts

The real feminism, the new feminism

Feminism means embracing your womanhood, recognizing your innate talents, and celebrating the differences that make you strong. I see this kind of feminism in all the incredible women around me, and I’m lucky to be surrounded by such women.


I see it in the single mother who, after losing her husband, raises four children on her own. Each child grows up to excel in their chosen field—one studies electrical engineering and eventually builds a company, another pursues law and becomes a respected attorney, a third studies mechanical engineering and rises to lead a major Japanese firm, and the fourth studies civil engineering to become the COO of a prominent Indian developer.

I see it when I see my grandmother.


I see it in the young woman in her early twenties who marries because her dying father wishes to see her married. Despite her wish, she does it to make him smile and later goes on to establish a huge contracting company with the support of her husband. Over twenty years, her company generates millions in value and employs hundreds, all while she builds a family of her own.

I see it when I see my mother.


I see it in a woman who, as a child, dreams of becoming a doctor and against all odds becomes a dermatologist. She sets up her own clinic which eventually expands into a chain of skin clinics across Pune. She marries the love of her life. They build a home together in the city and enjoys a fulfilling life together.

I see it when I see my sister.


I see it in a woman from a small town in India who travels all alone across multiple states in search of a job. With sheer hard work and tenacity, she gets the job she loves. After couple of years, she realises she wants more out of life. Determined, she travels all alone, again, but now across multiple countries to pursue her master’s degree. While living in a different country among people speaking a different language, she receives the heartbreaking news of her father’s passing. As the eldest child, she becomes the de facto head of her family. While working and supporting her family from abroad her ambition pushes her to take on another project. And she embarks on the journey of turning her startup dream into a reality.

I see it when I see my wife.


This is the brand of feminism I respect—it isn’t about bashing men, but about partnering with them. It’s about understanding that differences make us strong and that extraordinary accomplishments are often the result of teamwork.

Here's my salute to the real feminism. Happy Women's day to all women.

25 days ago
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2 mins read
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You are ordinary and that's okay

How preposterous it is to think that you are special, that you are capable of doing something so great and awe-inspiring that generations ahead will remember you. Realising that it might not be the case can be a heartbreaking process. Tremendous joy can be found in the quiet, simpler truths of living. Go take care of your family. Focus on what you can touch and see. Your life will feel more meaningful for it, your heart swelling with the joy of real, tangible connection, the kind that is good for you in the short term and good for your family in the long term.

Sometimes being ordinary is being extraordinary.

a month ago
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1 min read
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Criticism and growth

Can you take criticism? Building something worthwhile will entail taking tons of shit. As Rocky says "You have to be able to take it and keep moving forward."

Will all the criticism be constructive? Absolutely not. Some will be out right bullshit, personal and done with an intent to pull you down. There will be trolls, but your job is to filter the noise to fetch the nuggets of growth.

5 months ago
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1 min read
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Happiness is found in deep connections

Friendships have the remarkable power to transcend the boundaries of blood and create deep, lasting connections that feel like family. These special bonds are forged through shared experiences, unconditional support, and an unbreakable understanding. When you find friends who become your chosen family, you realize that these extraordinary relationships are one of life's greatest treasures.

One of the most beautiful aspects of friends who become family is the absence of judgment. Unlike in some other relationships, you don't need to worry about what you should or shouldn't say around them. They accept you for who you are, flaws and all. In their presence, you can be your most authentic self, expressing your thoughts and emotions without fear of rejection. This unconditional acceptance creates a safe space where you can grow and evolve, knowing that you are loved and supported no matter what.

The bonds that form between friends who become family are often strengthened through a tapestry of shared experiences. Whether it's embarking on exciting adventures, navigating challenging times together, or simply enjoying everyday moments, these shared memories create a strong foundation for the relationship. These experiences become the glue that binds you, fostering a deep sense of camaraderie and a shared history that connects you on a profound level.

Within the realm of these cherished friendships, emotions run deep. The smiles are big, the laughs are loud, and the tears are real. Through moments of joy and sorrow, your chosen family is there to celebrate your successes and provide solace during difficult times. They understand the complexities of your emotions and offer unwavering support, lending a listening ear or a comforting shoulder when needed. The ability to share both laughter and tears with these individuals strengthens the bond and reinforces the notion that they are truly your tribe.

Finding friends who become family may seem like a stroke of luck, but there is often something serendipitous about these connections. It's as if the universe conspires to bring kindred spirits together. Sometimes it happens through chance encounters, where two souls cross paths unexpectedly. Other times, it evolves from long-lasting friendships that have weathered the tests of time. Regardless of how you find your tribe, there is a certain magic in the synchronicity that unfolds, as if the universe is aligning to help you discover the people who will become an integral part of your life.

Friendships that evolve into familial bonds require effort and nurturing to thrive. Just like any relationship, they need attention, care, and active participation from all parties involved. Regular communication, spending quality time together, and being there for one another are essential to maintaining these cherished connections. Through the highs and lows of life, the support and love you provide and receive from your chosen family contribute to the growth and longevity of these relationships.

When you find friends who become family, your capacity to love expands. The love you feel for these individuals is not bound by blood but rather flows from the depths of your heart. These relationships show us that family is not solely defined by genetics, but rather by the profound connections we create with others. The expansion of the heart that occurs when you open yourself up to these friendships allows you to experience a love that is boundless, unconditional, and everlasting.

In a world where we are constantly on the move, seeking connection and understanding, friends who become family provide solace and a sense of belonging. They are the ones who stand by your side through thick and thin, who understand you on a level that transcends words, and who bring immeasurable joy and support to your life. The discovery of this chosen family is a testament to the beauty of human relationships and the transformative power of love and acceptance. So, cherish these extraordinary connections and be grateful for the crazy bunch of humans you've found on this magnificent rock we call Earth.


This is a deeper pondering on https://virajnikam.com/posts/friends-becoming-family

2 years ago
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3 mins read
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Friends becoming Family

That’s the thing about friends who become family. You don’t need to worry about what you should say or shouldn't say. They understand no matter what. When you are around them the smiles are big, the laughs are loud and the tears are real. And then you end up wondering, how.. just how.. in the world did you end up finding these crazy bunch of humans on the rock we called Earth.

2 years ago
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1 min read
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